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 Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way

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Park Joonho
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♠ Titulus : a paper town
♠ Tartózkodási hely : mindenhol & sehol
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : választ keresni a nagy kérdésre
♠ Hozzászólások : 22

TémanyitásTéma: Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way   Szomb. Jan. 07 2017, 15:52


Yewon & Johnny
If you never get lost you'll never be found.
It’s been a while since I last visited a pub for one purpose only: to get drunk. But after getting a punch from my beloved father I needed this. The musty scent of whiskey burning my nostrils and the alcohol kissing down my throat gently like a lover would. I hum at my now empty glass and shove it to the bartender.
“One more.”
My voice is hoarse and deeper than usually but I blame it on the rum that’s already in my veins. Subconsciously, I tap my face and hiss at the pain. Earlier when I looked in the grand mirror of our home one of my cheeks was covered red like crimson blossoms of cherry trees but I’m sure it’s gone by now. The wounds on the surface heal faster that the inside ones, I learned that a long time ago. Just like I should have known it’s not a good idea to talk with my father after mom’s appointment with the doctor. Of  course, it’s my fault that her condition isn’t getting better. Of course, I only make it worse day by day because I’m such an unfilial son etc. Nice one, dad, does it help you sleep at night? And what are you going to do now with a dying wife and two sons who hate you to death?
“There.” The bartender puts down another glass with golden liquid inside in front of me and I nod with gratitude as my fingers play on the material like it’s a piano. A sigh leaves my mouth and I look around in this shady, downtown bar. It’s early evening so there’re not too many people but enough to make the place buzz with excitement and one particular young girl seems like an outsider in the midst of boys in leather jackets. She has cute pixie haircut and lovely, innocent face so I have know idea why would someone like her be here at all. She looks a little lost as if she didn’t know what to do or how to do it while a guy behind her stares at her like she was a prey which makes me mad and bold. Nobody deserves to be looked at like that. So me being my usual gentleman self I offer a helping hand alongside with a wide and sparkling smile as I step in front of the lady.
“Hey, you wanna join me for a drink?” I raise an eyebrow and act as if we were friend since forever. The girl must have been taken aback so I scoot closer and add in a quite whisper so only she can hear it: „Believe it or not, you’re better off with me than some other jerk. It’s not really safe here for pretty girls like you… So how about that drink?”
I’ve heard my boyish charm works on everyone (all except Boa) so we’ll see about what wonders could my almost drunken self do.

written with love, hope you like it <3


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it's because of you that the first time in my life
i'm afraid of leaving...
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Min Yewon
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uni
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♠ Titulus : Girl next door
♠ Tartózkodási hely : Szöul
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : egyetemi hallgató/ filmdramaturg szak
♠ Előtörténet : ¤katt ide¤
♠ Hozzászólások : 24

TémanyitásTéma: Re: Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way   Szomb. Jan. 07 2017, 21:39


Yewon & Johnny
lost and found

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  It’s been six month since I moved back, and whenever Han Hyun Jae came to my mind, I always had the power to brush aside the urge to call him on his phone or text him in the latest moments of the night. Maybe that’s why seeing him again hit me like a train that push me right into the farthermost pub from him, from the idiot university and my pathetic life.
   After my last – and unfortunately obligatory – lesson I can’t even think about our girlish afternoon with my best friend anymore, so I start to roam in the city without any concrete purpose. I just want to be alone somewhere where noone could recognize me and gossip about my tears on my cheeks.
   As the sun goes down, the capital city comes alive and the mass of people start to irritate me. The cheerful teenagers and noisy vehicles are so loud I have to take a sharp turn to right, then left and right again. Thereupon the hubbub dies I completly lost my way. I don’t know where I am, where should I go or where the nearest bus stop is.
   The pub is average but the green neon lights cast a spell over me and I’m not capable of walking away. Not without going to the inside and order a drink. And an other one. And one more, just for fun.
   While I scrape the edge of the sparkling – and empty – glass, I barely notice the animalistic men around me, but my face is self-conscious and my responsible-self does not stop whispering to my ears. ’It’s ridiculous! Just go home, before someone takes you home instead.’
   I do not listening to it.
   A shadow covers the blinding light and I raise my head up to the mysterious guy who stand right in front of me. The first thought that comes to my mind is that he is a giant. I mean, literally. I doesn’t think I could reach his cheeks with the top of my head; perhaps in heels.
   My heart forgets to beat while he talking and I am so angry because it’s all my fault. I should’ve listened to my inner voice and left this building as soon as I stepped in. My knees start to shake and I really want to go away but my moves are too slow and he is much more faster. His breath tickles my neck and I totally freeze.
   Please, don’t kill me!
   ’I don’t think so.’ – My voice is calm, meanwhile a storm comes into existance in my stomach. He doesn’t draw apart from me.
   Okay, Yewon. What’s now?
   I really want to say something harsh but his response outplaces mine and forces me to look around. The animalistic, middle-aged men with leather jacket are much more frightening than a half hour or ten minutes ago. Maybe - just maybe! - he has a point, so I decide to swallow my pride.
   ’Fine. But I can’t promise to be a charming drinking buddy. Actually, I am quite bad at it.’ – My smile is honest but bitter when I slide a bit away in the double-seat to make a comfortable space for him. I even rap the wood while I put my other hand in the air and shout to the bartender for a bottle of  soju.



A hozzászólást Min Yewon összesen 1 alkalommal szerkesztette, legutóbb Hétf. Jan. 09 2017, 22:11-kor.
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Felhasználó profiljának megtekintése
Park Joonho
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varosi
avatar

♠ Titulus : a paper town
♠ Tartózkodási hely : mindenhol & sehol
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : választ keresni a nagy kérdésre
♠ Hozzászólások : 22

TémanyitásTéma: Re: Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way   Hétf. Jan. 09 2017, 11:46


Yewon & Johnny
If you never get lost you'll never be found.
I’m not surprised that the girl seemed afraid but I almost let out a chuckle at the absurd idea: afraid of me? As if I could hurt anything! The only living thing I’ve ever laid my hand on were fish because of a temporary job in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea. Although, I see her reasons: I’m quite tall, well-built with broad shoulders and a faint mark of a hit on my cheek. I guess my kind of cute but manly face doesn’t help either because she looks bothered and nervous. When she rejects my offer I have a backup plan that seems to backtrack her thoughts. My smile only grew wider at her response.
„Okay for me. I’m charming enough for the two of us.” Well, well, well, my ego likes to make an appearence  in the least proper situations but I hope the girl gets my humour and loosens up a bit. Even though she’s the one who came to a pub on her own, she looks so frightened, almost on the verge of fainting. With her big dear eyes she looks so young and innocent. She’s lucky I ain’t got no plans of tainting her or something awful like that. I only wished for a lovely company for the night.
Do not get me wrong, I’m not that low to look for a quick laid just because of my self-pity. Even as a normally functioning human being, a man, I’m able to survive without thirting after anything that moves. But unlike me there are a handful men here in this pub who doesn’t one anything else but luring a girl right into their bed for only one day.
„Thank you.” I singsong happily when the pixie-like girl moves over so I could take a place on the seat beside her. I’m a really straightforward person but I also know that thing called personal space and on my sober day I keep my distance.  However, today I’m a little tipsy and uncoordinated so I land a little closer to her than I originally intented.
„Sorry.” I mumble as I brush her shoulder with mine and scoot away a little. I greet the waiter happily as he brings us a familiar green bottle and two little glasses. I quickly fill them up with the transparent liquid and raise my glass and give a short toast. „To sudden acquaintances.”
I cheer and drink up the sour alcohol. Lucky for us, I’m great with strangers. I got to know a lot of different kind of people over the years. I’m aware of how to break the cold ice that builds between strangers and I know how to have a good time. Yeah, I need exactly that right now: to forget my father’s harsh words, even harder fists and to have fun.
„I’m Johnny by the way. How can I call you?” The question escapes my mouth while I still have a strong grip on my glass ready to fill it up once again. Yet, I wait for her to finish her drink before I move on.

written with love, hope you like it <3


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it's because of you that the first time in my life
i'm afraid of leaving...
Vissza az elejére Go down
Felhasználó profiljának megtekintése
Min Yewon
uni
uni
avatar

♠ Titulus : Girl next door
♠ Tartózkodási hely : Szöul
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : egyetemi hallgató/ filmdramaturg szak
♠ Előtörténet : ¤katt ide¤
♠ Hozzászólások : 24

TémanyitásTéma: Re: Yewon and Johnny ~ lost my way   Hétf. Jan. 09 2017, 22:10


Yewon & Johnny
lost and found

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  He’s surprisingly direct and his attitude brings back my awful memories of Hyun Jae and my awkward first words although I came here to forget, so I’m definitely grateful for his lame joke and clumsy moves. It gives me a reason to smile. Therefore, I simper instead of teaching him what personal space means and how a real gentleman acts around a lady.
   ’To sudden acquaintances.’ I copy his short monologue while I put my glass in the air with a barely noticable nod and drink it up all at once. I can’t even hide my happiness when my glass’ bottom touches the table right before his. I clap with a satisfied snort, than offer my hand to my own introduction.
   ’Yewon.’ I say it quaveringly. My voice is faint but it’s not because of his long fingers’ pleasant touch around mine. No! It’s just the fourth glass of shining alcohol that went down a little bit too fast in my throat. I let it fall onto my leg rashly, while I sweep a mop of my hair behind my ear with the other one.
   I cannot stop starring at him while he refills our glasses with soju. His face is so concentrated that I have to wonder is it really a good idea to drink with a not-so-sober stranger? After all, his name sounds american – unlike his appaerance – and that country is famous of its wild habits
   ’And what did bring you here?’ I ask when I notice his rose patch under his eye, but when his hand with the green bottle starts to shake I regret it immediately. Maybe, he is a fugitive or a simple criminal. A murderer? I shake my head to chase away my silly thoughts and I specify my question in case of he misunderstood something. Because I’m sure as hell I do not want to know why did he choose this country over America or what brought him to my beloved home. ’I mean, to this bar. Personally, it were the lights.’ I automatically lay my hand on the transparent alcohol, but I do not drink it up. My fingers take a nap at the edge of the glass. ’They bought me.’
   I turn toward the entrance and poke at the neon green sign with a wide smile. It is much more wonderful, like a real star in my awful day’s stormy sky. My shoulder fits tight to his and I forget to breath when our eyes meet.
   ’Don’t even think about that!’ My mind threatens me derisively but a flying infinity goes by whereof I turn back to the table and – with a shy smile – start to act like nothing happened. Because it was nothing but an idiot voice’s idiot warning of something meaningless.
   Wasn’t it?



A hozzászólást Min Yewon összesen 1 alkalommal szerkesztette, legutóbb Csüt. Jan. 12 2017, 19:16-kor.
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Park Joonho
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♠ Titulus : a paper town
♠ Tartózkodási hely : mindenhol & sehol
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : választ keresni a nagy kérdésre
♠ Hozzászólások : 22

TémanyitásTéma: Re: Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way   Szer. Jan. 11 2017, 10:46


Yewon & Johnny
If you never get lost you'll never be found.
For someone who is looking all shy and innocent, it takes me by surprise that she can hold her alcohol so well. Of course, I should know better than to have preconceptions. I am the case study of someone who doesn’t fit into the category they were born in. I was borned with a silver spoon in my mouth, yet here I am having various jobs just to keep an apartment and have some food on the table at the end of the day. I could go home, I could take father’s business and live in comfort but I don’t want to. I don’t care about enormous houses and golden plates, I want to earn what I have. But right now, I only have a bottle of soju and a cute girl for company. And I’m okay with that.
“Didn’t you say you are not good with alcohol?” I chuckle out loud when she drowns her fourth glass in row with me. Maybe that wasn’t what she meant when she said something about not being a charming drinking buddy. If I even remember correctly but I’m not so sure anymore because it’s not my first round and my mind is full of mist and cloudy constellations I cannot name. But one of them is Yewon, I know that for sure. Yewon who is the loveliest drinking company I could wish for.
“Yewon… such a pretty name for an equally pretty girl. Did you know that it means garden of talents?”
Of course, it’s just a wild guess. Korean names are so much harder to read than English names because their meaning is depend on which character do they use in the written form. Still, that doesn’t stop me from trying to impress Yewon. But for why? I have absolutely no idea. Usually, I don’t flirt with anyone, I’m more like the befriending type rather than the one who would jump on strangers.
There’s a dreamy grin on my face as I listen to her rambling and I’d like to answer her question but she is quick to add a correction. Oh, so that’s what she meant. Originally, I wanted to ask whether she’d like to know more about my philosophical thoughts about what it means to for human beings like us to be on the Mother Earth or that she was just curious about how someone named Johnny ended up in Korea. But no, she didn’t search answers for these questions and I’m glad.
“Cute.” I comment on her explanation about the lights with a giggle and follow her gaze to the neon sign at the entrance. As I shift my gaze it makes its way to Yewon’s flowerlike delicate features and the world stops for a moment. In movies that would the scene when two strangers in a seedy bar make the best mistake of their life after bonding over alcohol. But life is not a Hollywood movie.
I clear my throat as Yewon turns back to the table but I cann’t help but notice her shy smile. I found myself grinning at it like an idiot.
“Well, it was just in the way.” I prolong the last syllable and tap at the almost empty green glass. Really, this pub is just perfectly halfway between my parent’s home and the apartment I’m staying at. It must have been fate or something silly like that. “I needed a drink after a bad day. But what’s your excuse?”
My curiosity is genuine because yes, she said she came here because of the lights but that can’t be the why and I was eager to find out what was the cause of that.

written with love, hope you like it <3


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it's because of you that the first time in my life
i'm afraid of leaving...
Vissza az elejére Go down
Felhasználó profiljának megtekintése
Min Yewon
uni
uni
avatar

♠ Titulus : Girl next door
♠ Tartózkodási hely : Szöul
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : egyetemi hallgató/ filmdramaturg szak
♠ Előtörténet : ¤katt ide¤
♠ Hozzászólások : 24

TémanyitásTéma: Re: Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way   Csüt. Jan. 12 2017, 19:27


Yewon & Johnny
lost and found

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  I don’t answer his question about my drinking skills because in my opinion, my acts say much more about my limits than my words ever would. It’s not like me and the soju are best friends but we have never been in a bad relationship. It helps me destroy my walls and pushes me into extraordinary situations. After all, I’m almost twenty-three. If not now, then when should I start to live?
  ’Really? And what does your name mean? Have you got a traditional korean name, too?’ I have no idea why, but I find myself thinking about his real story behind those dreamy, chocolate eyes. Mainly, when he tells me he had a bad day.
   I don’t believe in things like destiny, because thinking that we all have a special story written by the angels in the heaven makes me sad. What did I do in my previous life that force them to stole my parents? How horrible things did I do to get nothing but loneliness? It’s not that I haven’t got anything. But my best – and maybe only real – friend is my ex-boyfriend’s sister and I can’t tell her how miserable I felt myself after seeing his beloved brother. She will always be on his side. And I’m okay with that.
   So I choose our own choices over fate. In that case, if I do something wrong, there is noone else I can blame. It will always be me. For example, when I moved to Busan. I was the one, who never picked up the phone. I was the one, who teared up every bound between Rinji, Hyun Jae and me.
   But saying that a simple heartbreak brought me here would be a huge cliché.
   ’Well, just like you, I had a bad day and I did what I’m the best at. Running away.’ My face turn into an ugly grimace while I slide my empty glass closer to the green bottle with a determined nod. If I truly want to be honest, I need one more.
   ’It’s not like I’m jealous.’ I look directly into his eyes because I really want him to believe every word I say. Otherwise, he will misunderstand my reasons and then there is an enormous chance that he will put me down as an idiot bitch who do not know when I relationship ends. ’I guess, the envious would be a better word for my feelings.’ I cough a bit and my shoulders start to shake after the next shot. It tastes like something really bitter.
   I don’t hate his new girlfriend. Seeing how happy he is, she must be a beautiful person with a kind personality. But I do hate the fact he can make himself free for her. Is she as understanding as I was? Does she love him as much as I did? Well, it is truly seems like a why-her instead of a why-not-me. I don’t want to be his girlfriend anymore, do I? I just want to be someone, who worth the timet to spend with.
   ’Yes, I am definitely envious.’ My voice is offended.
   And here it is. The reason why I told him I won’t be a charming drinking buddy. My eyes are in pain and I really, really try to built up my walls before I start to cry. I don’t want to cry over a stupid thing like that! I don’t want to be namby-pamby.
   So I clear my throat loudly and take a deep breath. I turn toward Johnny and let my shy smile come alive. Widely.
   ’Did you fight with someone?’ I lift my right hand up to his face and I touch his rose patch gently. My stomach hurts while I ask him. ’Does it hurt?’



A hozzászólást Min Yewon összesen 1 alkalommal szerkesztette, legutóbb Vas. Jan. 22 2017, 01:07-kor.
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Park Joonho
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avatar

♠ Titulus : a paper town
♠ Tartózkodási hely : mindenhol & sehol
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : választ keresni a nagy kérdésre
♠ Hozzászólások : 22

TémanyitásTéma: Re: Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way   Hétf. Jan. 16 2017, 13:51


Yewon & Johnny
If you never get lost you'll never be found.
The corners of my mouth twitch a little when she doesn’t answer to my compliment but maybe it’s better this way. However, I’m not surprised that she’s interested in my Korean name because I saw her eyes suspiciously glinted when I introduced myself as Johnny. Well, I got that a lot and I don’t know why. I’m well aware that my face is full of typically Asian features such as my naturally sun-kissed skin tone or thick, dark hair and narrow coal black eyes. It took time until Americans didn’t ask me their usual stupid question: do you speak English? Of course, I do, I lived there for 18 years. I’ve got a lot more stereotypical questions about my race so nowadays I’m okay with whatever.
„Yep.” I prolong the ’p’ at the end to make it sound funny and grin at her. „I was registered as Joonho at birth but since I lived in the USA most of my life, I don’t use it. Especially not because I got the name after my grandfather.”
I shrug as I tell her about my ancestors because there’s really no harm talking about these things. Not like she knows my family, she can’t really judge and to be honest, Johnny is a lot much cooler name than Joonho.
„But guess what, legend says Joonho means handsome sky or something like that. Don’t you think I live up to my name pretty well?” I flutter my eyelashes comically at her. I’m making a fool out of myself, I know but I take it as my mission to make her smile. If I can’t do that to Boa, maybe I can make a total stranger’s day at least a little better.
As I listen to the girl’s story told within drunken slurs and soju shots, it kind od makes my heart ache. And not int he good way. Looking at her, all I see is a pretty, young girl who should live her dreams but there she is: sad and envious as she said. I don’t know her yet I’m absolutely sure she deserves better.
„Sometimes running away doesn’t mean you’re a coward. Sometimes it makes you selfless because you don’t want to complicate things.” My voice is barely above a whisper as if I was telling her a secret but it’s more like a life lesson I learned the hard way during my travellings. A lot can happen when you’re on your own but you can do anything. I like the second syllable in my name because it not only means sky but freedom as well and I like to fly high as my wings let me. But sometimes these wings are cut off and I have to wait for them to grow out again. Life is full of hardships and the way we face them is the one thing that describes us.
„Okay, so… let me guess: boy problem?” I raise on eyebrow as she states her conclusion about being envious and I can’t let it slide. It’s a shame but I can’t keep up with her shots, eventually I slow down and just watch her drinking.
Her sudden question catches me off guard, just like her gentle fingers ghosting over my cheek and I force myself to smile back at her.
„Only when I laugh.” I lie easily and from her curious star eyes I know she knows it to. It’s useless to deny it further so I put my hand on hers and lightly pull it down until her fingertips graze my jawline. I keep them there wondering how can her skin be so soft?
„Yes, it stings a little.” I admit as a I shake my head. „And no, I didn’t fight. I’m a pacifist but apparently my father is not one.”
The confession slips out of my stupid drunken mouth before I can stop it and at the realization I let her hand go in order to grab another unopened bottle and fill out an other round.

written with love, hope you like it <3


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it's because of you that the first time in my life
i'm afraid of leaving...
Vissza az elejére Go down
Felhasználó profiljának megtekintése
Min Yewon
uni
uni
avatar

♠ Titulus : Girl next door
♠ Tartózkodási hely : Szöul
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : egyetemi hallgató/ filmdramaturg szak
♠ Előtörténet : ¤katt ide¤
♠ Hozzászólások : 24

TémanyitásTéma: Re: Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way   Kedd. Jan. 17 2017, 23:52


Yewon & Johnny
lost and found

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  I literally cannot stop smiling – even after he stopped flutter his eyelashes – so I try to focus my sight anywhere but his shape jawline and chocolatelike eyes before my cheeks turn into carmine. My brain doesn’t want to admit it, but for some reason being around Johnny feels really good and I don’t want to push him away with my immature actions like starring at him like a little slip of a thing.
   ’Handsome sky.’ I play with the phrase while I repeat it multiple times. It’s not like I’m blind or stupid. I am fully aware of his good-looking appearance and kind personality as I also see every single girl’s sniffy or surpriced face when they glace at our strainge pair. I barely hear their toughts. ’Why does someone who looks like a living demigod make a fool out of himself to make a girl like her smile? Is she his little sister or just an ugly childhood friend?’ I drink up my half-empty glass. ’Yes, your parents totally got it.’ I wish mine would have been this close to the reality when they chose my name, too. ’I mean, hmm…’ I close my eyes and recall the first moment I saw him standing in front of my desk. I can’t believe I was actually afraid of him. ’You do look good and you’re tall. You can almost touch the sky with your hands.’ I smile at him widely. I bet he and his girlfriend look lovely when Johnny helps her to reach the mugs on the highest self in the kitchen.
   His words touch my soul and a part of me truly wants to believe him. That’s why the sorrowful truth hurts so much when my irritating inner voice comes into existance in my head. ’He doesn’t know the whole story. Or do you really think he would say the same if he knew you left your loved ones without a word?’
   I shake my head but my conscience doesn’t stop talking.’You’re a heartless coward. And a pityful craven doesn’t deserve happiness.’
   And his question about Hyun Jae is the last drop in the glass. I cannot hold it back anymore. If I would do that, it would have consumed my spirit and rotten me from the inside.
   Maybe it’s because I drank too much, or because he seems like a good person but I don’t just correct his statement. I tell him more.
   ’Something like that. But Hyun Jae is my ex-boyfriend.’ I wait an infinite moment before I pick up the pieces and turn them into a honest story. ’I met him in the hallway right before my creative writting lesson and he was so kind to me. Too kind, actually. He should hate me.’
   I force myself to look into Johnny’s eyes, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t read in his expressions. Does he pity me? Does he understand?
   His skin burns my finger and my body dies in the flames when he smiles at me. Even tough I know he’s lying to my face so easily, I can’t make myself pushing him away.
   ’Don’t you dare!’ My brain tries to chain down my heart but fails and my face turns into red when the winner becomes enhusiastic over the fact I do like Johnny.
   ’Your father.’ His answer makes me so angry I don’t even recognize he let my hand fall onto my legs. I have to clenche my eyes while I drink my eighth shots. ’Why would someone do this to his own son?’
   I should have known better than anyone how naiv my question sounds. I should have learnt that how cruel this world is a long time ago. But my sense of justice still can’t deal with the fact that there are people who can hurt anybody without a serious outcome. I clench my fists impulsively and I find myself wondering where his father live. Someone should teach him what loving your family means. Someone should teach him how a beloved father acts. Someone should…
   ’Calm down yourself, you stupid girl! Did you learn nothing from the last time? Interfering in other’s business never ends well.’

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Felhasználó profiljának megtekintése
Park Joonho
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♠ Titulus : a paper town
♠ Tartózkodási hely : mindenhol & sehol
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : választ keresni a nagy kérdésre
♠ Hozzászólások : 22

TémanyitásTéma: Re: Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way   Kedd. Jan. 24 2017, 23:29


Yewon & Johnny
If you never get lost you'll never be found.
„Wow, a compliment from a pretty lady! I’m in luck today.” I smile like an idiot. That’s something I often do. So often that my roommate likes to ask me if I’m high or not. The funny thing on being high that a lot of things can produce similar symptoms as being drugged. You can get high on alcohol, smoke and people. Yeah, them too. Because what is being intoxicated? A constant dizziness, lightheaded feeling that makes you bold and reckless. I’m like that almost all the time, am I not?
Honestly, it feels good to get compliments. Boa would burn her own hands instead of complimenting me at all. Father is too busy with offenses to take a good look at me. It would be super weird if my star idol little brother would say something like this especially since between the two of us, he’s the one with fancy make-up and good fashion sense. I’m just me, my ordinary sense and the only person who usually praising my looks is my mother. But aren’t all moms the same?
To be honest, I’m quite surprised when Yewon suddenly opens up about the reason behind her wild night even though I shouldn’t be. I asked, she answered, that’s how it normally works and I’m not the type of person who pities others. Everybody has their own problems and has their own ways to fight them… or choose not to. It’s not my place to judge.
„Why should anyone hate you? Or wait! Let me rephrase the question: how could someone hate you? You seem supernice.” I’m aware that I’m rambling but I’m sincerely concerned and curious. At first look, Yewon is your typical cute girl-next-door who would bring cookies to you and get scared during stroms. She seems innocent and harmless. Whatever she did to her ex-boyfriend, it can’t be that bad. Maybe she cheated on him? No… no way! Look at her deer eyes, she wouldn’t do something so shallow! Then what could it be? Nothing serious if her ex acted like this to her. So why is this the problem? Unless… she doesn’t want to fall for him again.
Yewon’s touch that follows the train of my thoughts is warm yet pleasant. It’s been a while since I associated with any stranger… any pretty young thing and let the feeling linger. It’s a dangerous thought, a very reckless one but as she retreats with rosy-cheeks I can’t help but think cute. First, I didn’t intend to answer because we don’t know each other at all but in the end I decided to do it. Why? Because of the very same reason: we’re strangers and I could enjoy this anonymity a little while more.
„Well, I’m not exactly an examplary son.” I grimace as I touch my wound on instinct. Just another mark of my rebelling. I could have been used to it by now. It doesn’t worth more words wasted on this.
„But maybe you should slow down a little bit? How many of those have you drunk already?” I point at the empty glasses and soju bottles. I’m not a light-weight and apparently she isn’t one either but we both well passed being sober right now and I’m not sure I can get a hold of myself a lot longer anymore if she puckers her lips to take another shot.
At the crazy thought, I clear my throat and blink at her with stars in my eyes. „Wanna dance?”

written with love, hope you like it <3


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it's because of you that the first time in my life
i'm afraid of leaving...
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Min Yewon
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♠ Titulus : Girl next door
♠ Tartózkodási hely : Szöul
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : egyetemi hallgató/ filmdramaturg szak
♠ Előtörténet : ¤katt ide¤
♠ Hozzászólások : 24

TémanyitásTéma: Re: Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way   Szer. Jan. 25 2017, 22:59


Yewon & Johnny
lost and found

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  Everyone adores the feeling of being praised. And I’m not an exception. I have never been.
   My gaze loiters over his facial expressions. His almond shaped eyes almost disappear when his white teeth show up in a honest smile. It’s so beautiful, it drives me crazy. It looks like he isn’t an exception either. My heart melts because of the fact I do make his day a bit better with my compliment.
   His incoherent words barely get to my mind but when they do, I forget to breath. ’You should shut up! You already told him more than enough. You don’t even know him. What if he is a journalist? Hyun Jae is an idol. This guy can be very dangerous.’ I’m fully aware of the truth in my inner voice’s warning. But the curiosity, the frank interest in his eyes makes me weak and I do not care about the consequences anymore. Someone who flutters his eyelashes and makes funny faces and sounds to make me smile wouldn’t hurt me, would he?
   ’Idiot.’ If my conscience would be a real person, I'm sure she would shake her head resignedly.
   ’I gave up on us.’ I still remember the day I left. It wan’t intentional – at least it wasn’t in my top ten plans for the weekend. All my desire was to celebrate. I wanted to be with him; in his arms until the sun goes down and even after. I downloaded the Dirty dancing, because it was our special movie from the start. I still can’t believe I broke into their house in the middle of the night just to show him my favourite scene. I made kimbap and ramen – in case the twisted meal with alga, rice, meat and vegetables tasted disgusting. My only purpose was to make him happy. I solemnly swear. ’We loved each other. It should have been enough…’ It’s something I’m sure at. We did love each other. Otherwise, leaving him hadn’t been the hardest decision in my life. And leaving him felt like a merciless, ungrateful way of killing myself with my own bare hands. I couldn’t stop crying on the train or even after in my college room. I missed him. I loved him. But living for someone and dying for someone isn’t the same. And I couldn’t stay there, living a life waiting for him to come.
   It’s hard to love someone who hurts you time after time. It’s even harder when this person tries to love you with all his heart. When he truly tries to heal the scares that he caused with his unintended actions. But – at least for me – saying goodbye is more difficult, more painful. Because when you say goodbye, the person who is the most important for you, takes away a part of you. A piece of your soul. Seeing his facial expressions, the sadness in his eyes, the hope for a second chance… It would have forced me to stay. I know this. If he had told me that we can fix everything, I would have believe him, and yet, I’m sure as hell, nothing would have change. LHT was his life – the interviews, the tours, the performances, the glam, the fame – and I couldn’t accept it. ’But it wasn’t.’
   ’It’s bullshit! You just didn’t love him as much as he loved you and you couldn’t admit your sin. You were selfish. You still are.’
   His response doesn’t calm me down – in fact, it just makes me much more angrier - but seeing his painful grimace I bite back my words. I don’t tell him how wonderful he is. Or how happy I become beside him. I hope my face speaks louder than any angument. I don’t want to fight with him because of his rotten father.
   ’I have no idea. Eight or nine, maybe.’ I look around and I’m undiscribably grateful for my beloved home’s culture. There are only two empty glasses unlike the western countries where every single shot comes with a new one. He can’t count it. ’It can’t be more than ten.’ My voice is determined even though I know I drank more.
   His question’s like cold rain in a sunny day but I always loved the transparent drops so I nod without hesitation.
   ’With pleasure.’ My eyes are sparkling, although I’m not a talented dancer. I put down my half-empty glass and follow his gaze. The oldfashioned jukebox in the left corner is tempting.
   My moves are clumsy just like Johnny’s. I can’t hold back my laugh when I crush into one of the players in front of the dartboard. His dart almost hits me.
   ’I pick first!’ I lean on the music machine and point my finger to the first song. A romantic one. Disgusting! I don’t want to waste a single moment on love this night anymore. We spoke about that more than enough. I move along to the next one. And so on. ’Wow! I can’t believe it. It’s a real classical.’ Actually, it isn’t that old and it’s not even korean. Avicii’s The nights came out at 2015. I know that because when I heard it at the first time I was in Busan and I learnt for my communication and culture exam. My senior roomie grabbed my hand around midnight and we went to the roof. The bitter taste of the cheap wine and the lyric of this song made an excellent combo. I miss Hae Soo so much! ’Do you love it?’
   I raise an eyebrow defiantly while my body already tries to follow the rhythm.

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Park Joonho
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♠ Titulus : a paper town
♠ Tartózkodási hely : mindenhol & sehol
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : választ keresni a nagy kérdésre
♠ Hozzászólások : 22

TémanyitásTéma: Re: Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way   Szer. Feb. 01 2017, 23:53


Yewon & Johnny
If you never get lost you'll never be found.
I have always been a good listener. Really, I’m all in for conversations. I love talking, some say I love my voice a little too much but that’s just when I’m really enthusiastic about something but I like listening more because I’m genuinely interested in people’s backstory and how do they think. I find the human race immersely interesting like nothing else. It can surprise you all the time, turn the table and check-mate when you least expect it. This pretty young girl seemed like someone who has the perfect life with stable and healthy relationship with her parents, lots of friends, a good university and maybe she just got a bad mark, that’s why she’s here. But no, she’s also a weak and fragile human being like all of us and her life story is a fairly tale-worthy one. A true story without a hollywood happy ending.
„Then I guess Beatles was wrong after all. Love is not all what you need. Poor them, not only the worst bob haircut ever but they also lied to the whole world. We should sue them.” I suggest half-jokingly because it looks like Yewon had enough of sad stories. I understand her because I simply doesn’t want to answer questions conserning my face, at least not now. I’m not sober nor drunk enough to speak about it without causing trouble for my beloved CEO father. No matter how much I resent him as a parent, he’s a good husband to mom and a great emplyeer for having such an amazing company. I don’t want to see his downfall and I certainly don’t want to be the reason of it.
Still, I’m glad Yewon told me all that because now I can see it: the sea of sadness in her eyes that reflect on the dim light of the place and glamours with hope for something better. She’s a good person, I can tell it, always the best people suffer the worst pain, just look at my mom. As the thought of her I drain down another shot and it taste the bitterness on my tongue and in my heart. A part if me feels like drowning and only Yewon keeps me alive by bringing me back to the surface.
„Hm… If you say so.” I chuckle cutely at her response because even thought I saw her drinking one shot after another she looks still quite sober. At least sober enough to speak in coherent and full sentences so she definitely holds her alcohol well. I don’t get why she said that about not being th ebest drinking buddy. She’s the best so far.
My idea is completely out of context but I couldn’t be more glad when she agrees without hesitation. I t flatters me a bit and I follow her closely to the jukebox in the corner. I can’t even walk in a straight line but I don’t care. Not at all until we have fun. Although, I pull her a little farther away after we have that impromptu with one of the darts players.
I don’t even try to pick a fight when Yewon claims the machine first and deep down I expected something sad love song but the one that fills the room is actually fun. I grin widely at her when I recognise the beat and the melody. I think this was really populat at the time when I served on a tourist ship. It reminds me of the salty taste of ocean and I let the waves pull me under.
„It’s perfect. Come here.” I crook my index finger inviting her closer but doesn’t wait for her next move as I grab her hand gently and lead her to dance right in front of me. She’s so close I can see the tiny dots in her wide, shining eyes and she smells so good, some flowery fragnance that makes me weak. It’s dangerous so I press against her back pliantly with my chest and like this my mouth is just above her ear barely touching the silky skin
„I’m not so sure anymore that I’m any better of those guys.” I admit as my hands travel south and stop on her waist that helps me to move along with her to the rythme. It’s not really dancing per se, but it’s okay and I don1t care abaout the judging stars at all as I add giggling: „Maybe the whiskey’s finally kicking in.”
Or maybe I’m just losing my mind.

written with love, hope you like it <3


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it's because of you that the first time in my life
i'm afraid of leaving...
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Min Yewon
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♠ Titulus : Girl next door
♠ Tartózkodási hely : Szöul
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : egyetemi hallgató/ filmdramaturg szak
♠ Előtörténet : ¤katt ide¤
♠ Hozzászólások : 24

TémanyitásTéma: Re: Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way   Csüt. Feb. 02 2017, 11:19


Yewon & Johnny
lost and found

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  My brain is a soju flavored cotton candy. I cannot think straight anymore. And I don’t want to. My only will is starring at him a volatile moment more and I swear to God I could sold my soul without hesitation just to see him smile once again in my life. The pure happiness suits him well. He should laugh more frequently.
   As my body starts to follow the rhythm, he crooks his index finger in an entice way that makes me giggle. His actions, his words, his personality; everything about him have a strange effect on me that chains my legs and makes my heart flutter.’You should go back to the college before you do something stupid you will regret forever.’ My inner voice tries to warn me over and over again but eventually, it chokes in the pink sweetness like every other reasonable thought that tried to come to existance within the last five minutes.
   My heart skips a beat because of his long fingers’ familiar, pleasant touch around my wrist and I officially lose the last piece of my selfcontrol when he leads me to dance right in front of him. The song whirls me in a weird way it shouldn’t supposed to do and I can’t help myself but take a deep breath. He’s so close it hurts.
   His chest fits tight to my back like two matching puzzle piece would do and I have to calm down myself when his hoarse voice reaches my ear. The warm air that leaves his mouth plays with my hair. He warns me. He gives me a chance to draw apart from him.
   But for the first time in my life I don’t want to scuttle. And it scares me to death.
   His hands take a nap on my waist and my body melts in his arms that nestle me gently to the rhythm. The feeling of being near to him tugs my stomach and I crawl all over my body.
   ’It’s okay for me.’ I confess after a short pause. Even though, we both drank enough to make light-minded decisions I know he would never force me to leave this place with him or to have sex with him in the nearest alley. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have bothered with the warning, right?
   ’Yeah, that’s exactly how this world works these days. The bars are full of charming gentlemen.’ I bite in my lower lip softly while I singing lalala in my head to chase away the sarcastic voice. I’m not that naiv. I’m fully aware with the horrific side of this world. But where is darkness, there is light, too. How could I judge someone on the basic of other people’s actions?
   My voice is quiet like the atmosphere before the wildest storms when I turn towards him and I look directly in his eyes. His hands stay on my waist and I let the feeling linger while I forget to follow the music when my nose brush his T-shirt after he takes a deeper breath. He’s definitely too close.
   ’I’m sure enough for the two of us.’ I add it with a shy smile and I hope my statement at least half as cool as his was when he convinced me of his charming personality at the beginning.

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Park Joonho
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♠ Titulus : a paper town
♠ Tartózkodási hely : mindenhol & sehol
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : választ keresni a nagy kérdésre
♠ Hozzászólások : 22

TémanyitásTéma: Re: Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way   Pént. Feb. 10 2017, 23:10


Yewon & Johnny
If you never get lost you'll never be found.
Dancing has never been my thing, not really, but if I have enough alcohol in my system that could make wonders to my coordinating skills. Such as that one night at Spain, tonight reminds of that hidden memory. Latin women have quite a temper and I’ve suffered a few slaps on a fun night like this. I wonder faintly whether Yewon would hit me, too. (She should if she could read my thoughts.) But she seems too nice and kind. A pure soul that hasn’t been spoiled by this rotten world, someone who doesn’t deserve all the bad things that happened to her. Like the Little Red Riding Hood. Then does it make me the Big Bad Wolf who’s out to hunt her down? Would I be that weak for the sins of flesh? Would I be that shallow?
The answer tastes bitter on my tongue when I feel her heart beating so fast against my chest and the blood in my veins dances feverishly. We're not even dance anymore, just swaying in one place hugging each other as we live on the same air. The breathe hitch in my throat as she replies so casually, so sure of herself and I can only watch wild eyed, mouth hanging in agape and with glint in my eyes as she turns over to face me. Her words are bold and they make me want to do reckless things. For a moment I don’t know if it’s her purpose or she just isn’t aware of the effect she has on me.
I let out a little giggle when she quotes me and refers to my entrance speech. Oh, yes, that was way before the shots that cloud my mind right now.
“You shouldn’t say such things if you don’t want to face the consequences.” I warn her firmly, giving her space and time to think it through. Maybe she thinks this is a game: playing with men’s heart but I’m not an easy one to sway. I’m not the one to stay, to hope for more, to be with. I’m a dandelion in the air, always moving farther and farther away.
I take off one of my hands from her waist and touch the apple of her rosy cheek with a cheeky smile on my face. I let my fingertip brush her chin, those cute little moles on her delicate skin and just under her lower lip. It looks so pink and shiny, I have to tear my gaze away to look back up into Yewon’s eyes before I do something I regret. A sigh escapes my mouth.
“You must know what you're doing with me, right? You’re driving me crazy.” My voice is barely above a whisper but I lean so close that our noses bump into each other. I chuckle at the clumsy action and my hand wanders down to the girl’s neck, pressing onto the pale skin there, bringing her impossibly closer so that only a paper thin sliver of air separate us.
There are stages of craziness and so far this is the most pleasant one: this light feeling like I have no worries in the world and I could do anything I want. I could have a beautiful girl for a night and have her look at me as if I was her knight in shining armour. Not like some coward or failure I truly am.
“You make me want to do bad things with you.” I admit my weakness to the carnal desires and she should back out now because she’s a good girl. Too good for me.
Not that kissing a girl would be a bad thing, oh no. But kissing a girl while not being sober isn’t the prettiest thing a gentleman could do and my mother taught me well about how to treat women. But what can I say? I’m selfish so I don’t let go. Not even now. Not until she says so.

written with love, hope you like it <3


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it's because of you that the first time in my life
i'm afraid of leaving...
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Min Yewon
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uni
avatar

♠ Titulus : Girl next door
♠ Tartózkodási hely : Szöul
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : egyetemi hallgató/ filmdramaturg szak
♠ Előtörténet : ¤katt ide¤
♠ Hozzászólások : 24

TémanyitásTéma: Re: Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way   Szer. Feb. 15 2017, 08:38


Yewon & Johnny
lost and found

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  Regression to the mean. It’s a scientific way of saying that life can’t be all bad or all good till the end of time. Eventually, the things have to come back to the middle. Ever since I moved back to the capital city, I pretty much in the neutral zone. I wake up and dress up while I drink my coffee. I go to the university and do my part-time job. I go back to the dorm around midnight. Always the same place. Which means, at some point, the scale has to tip one way or the other.
   Looking at his definite eyes, hearing his firm voice and feeling his shaking hands on my waist makes me wonder which direction will bring me my destiny if I choose to stay.
   As his freezing fingers touch my cheek, the music dies away and his sassy smile melts down my barely-standing walls. I’m not sure I could face with all the unmentioned consequences, especially the most horrific ones what my inner voice singsong hourly. The 'You don’t even know him. What if he is a pervent?’ and ’Did you hear about those girls who disappered last summer after a wild night? No? That’s the point! They vanished for good.’ are tinkling in my ears.
   In spite of the fact I don’t remember his korean family name – did he mention it at all? – and I totally don’t know what kind of person he is when he’s sober I would like to think that I’m a good judge of character. I don’t push him away.
   His confession catches me off guard and I have to repeat it multiple times in my head before I answer. How could I drive him crazy? How could I drive anyone crazy?
   ’Am I?’ I ask him with a pinch of disbelief. I look directly into his sparkling eyes and the coal black pupils sniff me. I get lost in the darkness and for an ephemeral moment I feel dizzy and weak. I have to hold onto his T-shirt otherwise there is a huge chance I will fall on my knees. I strangle the mellow textile so derperately like a mountaineer the rope or a dying person the last draught of water and I have to admit that he is just like this to me this night. The last piece of bread after a starving month. And I’m so hungry!
   When he drags me closer and his manly palm paddles my skin, my forehead nestle to his chest and our bodies swing without the pleasant sound of the jukebox’s music.
   I know I shouldn’t do this. But one of my sides, the stronger one, forces me to continue. Because, even it is just a game, I don’t want to give up so easily. I want to play. Just a tiny, little moment longer I would like to be someone who worths this kind of look.
   ’I trust you.’ I tell him with a shy nod. My gaze takes a nap on his rosy lips and suddenly all I can think about is kissing him. I want to kiss him so badly. ’After all, right now…’ I close my eyes. With a thump, my heart keeps bouncing between the sky and the ground, and this second is a perfect example of those kind of situations when you think you have a choice but you don’t. Surviving without an ugly scar or running away was a naiv illusion from the beginning. When our shining glasses filled with soju crashed into each other, our pathes linked tight definitively. ’… with you…’ My voice is faint and I literally balance on the edge of faint. ’I’m over the moon.’ My confession is so soft and honest. There is nothing pretentious in it, because I haven’t got high expectations at all.
   If being drunk feels this good, I don’t want to be sober ever again.

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Park Joonho
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♠ Titulus : a paper town
♠ Tartózkodási hely : mindenhol & sehol
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : választ keresni a nagy kérdésre
♠ Hozzászólások : 22

TémanyitásTéma: Re: Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way   Szer. Feb. 15 2017, 15:45


Yewon & Johnny
If you never get lost you'll never be found.
I’ve been drunk many times in my life before. It’s not a shame to admit it. I have quiet high alcohol tolerance. I’ve developed it through the years, I had to. In Russia, if you reject a drink offer, they will hang you with traitor scribbled on your forehead. Okay, in the civilized modern world, maybe not literally but that’s the point. Every country has different drinking habits and so does every person. I become awfully cheesy and careless, someone you shouldn’t trust. I don’t consider myself as a bad person per se but I have my moments for sure. Like this when I try to say no to the face of seduction and I can’t make myself.
Her teasing little question makes my insides turn yet I can’t quite grasp this feeling. Alcohol really does blur some lines and I’m not sure I should step over this. Yet, I’m definitely turned on even though she didn’t do anything special. Yewon is just being her usual self, that cute girl from the moment we met but my body reacts strangely quickly to hers. It’s been a while since I was intimate with anyone some almost grinding stuff that would be hypocrite to call dancing is the closest thing to it nowadays. No wonder she’s making a fool out of myselft but she act all innocent as if she didn’t know. Maybe she really didn’t so I gladly enlighten her.
„Yeah.” I sigh against her temple and my fingers tremble on her soft skin that’s only one layer away from me. „You’re so pretty and funny and definitely way too kind.”
I’m not used to kindness. My father probably hates me because he disappointed in me several times already. My brother acts all cold and harsh so I rarely hear anything approximately nice from him. My bosses are most likely had enough of my free will and big mouth but I’m a good labor so they don’t fire me. Oh, and I don’t even have to mention my flatmate who likes to toy with the idea of killing me slowly. It’s a miracle to have someone being so caring towards me apart from my mom.
I don’t do relationships, they’re just not my thing because of my free lifestyle. Sooner or later, I’ll be leaving and I don’t want to break anyone’s heart (and selfishly, nor the other way around). One night stands are different because they don’t last and both parties are aware of it. Maybe I should have warned Yewon so she knows what she has gotten herself into in the beginning. So she could stop herself before things start to spiral down to where they are now: the two of us swaying in the middle of a rundown bar. My hands are on her waist, hers are fists in my shirt. My heart is hidden deep down yet there is hers on a silver plate before me. I could read it wrong but I don’t think I do. She wants me to kiss her just as much as I want to devour this reckless feeling and get lost in the moment. It’s been a while since I let myself make mistakes and she could be a beautiful one.
My whole body shakes in anticipation when she says that she trusted me and she was happy with me. I know I should blame it on he alcohol and tell her that the credit isn’t mine but the several shots of soju but I’m selfish and weak.
“Good.” I murmur and hastily close that itching gap between us that’s been bothering me all night. Yewon’s cherry lips taste just as sweet and soft as I imagined. There’s a touch of bitterness on those pink plump heavens because of the alcohol but they just make me more drunk (in lust?). If I could I would like to have this moment as a dream and never wake up but we can’t always get what we want, right? Especially when time is a part of the equation because it’s always running out.  Running away from us.
“Sorry.” I mutter faintly as I pull away. Not all the way but enough to let us breathe. I shake my head and try to think, to be reasonal, act like an adult but my heart is hummering and I keep questioning myselg. Why wrong things feel always this good?

written with love, hope you like it <3


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it's because of you that the first time in my life
i'm afraid of leaving...
Vissza az elejére Go down
Felhasználó profiljának megtekintése
Min Yewon
uni
uni
avatar

♠ Titulus : Girl next door
♠ Tartózkodási hely : Szöul
♠ Szak/Foglalkozás : egyetemi hallgató/ filmdramaturg szak
♠ Előtörténet : ¤katt ide¤
♠ Hozzászólások : 24

TémanyitásTéma: Re: Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way   Csüt. Feb. 16 2017, 11:46


Yewon & Johnny
lost and found

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  His hoarse good turns my whole world upside down. Like, literally. The ceiling becomes the floor and the floor is the ceiling and suddenly he is the only strong point in my cloudy reality so I grasp his T-shirt even more desperately than an emphemeral moment before.
   His lips taste like the sweetest chewing gum with bitter soju and my heart skips a beat when my arms automatically cross his neck. My fingers draw indiscernible figures to his nape while my chest clings to his and I swear to God I can feel his hummering heartbeats under my skin. I wish I could freeze time to make my own eternity, but life isn’t a wish-fulfilling factory and fortune have never been in my side.
   I am not even surprised when his pleasant hands slip off my body as he keeps off. My arms fall next to my sides and an infinity minute goes by whereof I raise my head. My resigned reaction actually more tragical than his rejection.
   My smile is honest but bitter when I look him in the eye. ’It’s okay’
   But it’s not. It feels like my heart explodes into million pieces and these tiny, broken things lay down a carpet for me made by transparent, shape glass. I’m the star of this tragedy. My blood paints it red.
   Maybe because it’s the second pull-and-push situation within the last twenty-four hours or maybe because I don’t understand why am I dishonest when I have always been avoided lies after my mother caught me in a very execrative one, but I cannot breath.
   ’I think we should… I should go.’ I tell him when the silence becomes too heavy. I look at the small, ticking clock on the dirty wall and the realisation hits me like a train. I should have left this bar hours ago. ’It’s after midnight, I shouldn’t be here’
   I turn my back on him without hesitation – I’m so proud of my strict steps and my unemotional facial expressions – and walk back to our desolate table. I sneer when I notice that the second bottle of soju isn’t empty and I cannot stop smiling when my fingers surround the neck of the green glass. I raise it high above my head before I drink it up to the bottom.
   ’It was nice to meet you.’ I murmur when his chest touches my shoulder. He is way too close and being near him suddenly becomes the worst idea I can imagine. I’m terrified I will make a complete fool out of myself by kissing him again. My body shivers when I take a deep breath and turn toward the bartender.
   My steps are slow but this speed helps me to keep my balance so I’m okay with it.
   ’How much does that cost?’ I ask loudly while I point at the table carefully. This time my gaze doesn’t loiter over Johnny’s shape at all and I already miss his cheeky smile. After the man behind the counter answer, I give him my last 40 000 won and lean on the top of the bar. ’Could you tell me where is the nearest bus stop?’ My eyes are full of stars and my voice is hoarse while I try to understand his hint. After the second ’then you have to turn left’ I totally lose the thread, although I don’t bother him asking for confirmation. ’Thank you.’
   I am confident. I invest myself in my black coat and walk to the entrance by direct means. The cold air pinch my cheeks and I miss my scarf but standing in front of the neon green lights I have to realize I have a bigger problem than the wintry weather. I don’t know where should I go. Left? Right? I curse myself whereat I gave my roommate my mobile few days ago and I curse her because she used my internet two weeks before the deadline. I can’t even open the browser without a total blue screen of death.
   ’Damn.’ I swear quietly while I singsong a say that my mother taught me when I was five. Come on, Fortuna! Only this once…
As I feel the heat of his body, I repeat my beloved damn it and I beg to all the angels in the haeven to open up the ground beneath my feet.
   ’Isn’t it exacty what you wanted? Him? Then eat what you cooked!’ I snort while I ram my phone into my pocket. If my brain doesn’t play a trick on me and I remember well, he told me this place was just on the way for him. It means he has to live nearby, doesn’t it? Anyway, since I’m lack of opportunities, I have to give it a try.
   So I take a deep breath, swallow my pride and turn foward him. My moves are so unforeseeable they shocke both of us. My nose crashes into his coat, and I can’t help myself but sneeze of the soft touch of the textile.
   I’m soo ashamed I cannot look at him and my faint voice is barely above a wishper when I ask for help.
   ’Don’t you know where the nearest bust stop is?’

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Yewon & Johnny ~ lost my way
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