hayoon & sungjin || first step (to you)

“Aaaand Miss Cecily's partner will be…” drumroll just to tease the audience as the name of one of the most famous professional dancer on the show is called. “...D3CODE’s leader, Sungjin.”
I blink in surprise, smiling widely into the camera out of reflex and before I know it I'm escorted to the other end of the stage with every other sorted pair. Among them there's a woman who has to teach me the secret's of ballroom and latin dances I have never ever tried before but I was never one to back out of challenges.
The Korean version of the Dancing with the Stars is a great initiate of KBS and I was honoured to asked to join the stars category alongside with big name from the other big 3 companies as well as smaller ones. But there weren't only idols but other types of celebrities too. Actors and actresses, a few older comedians who probably never danced in their life if it wasn’t for variety shows. For one part this show was for the laughs but it also was quite professional in the dancing sense, so I was really curious to see how it’s going to go. Since the company decided on adding us on some running shows to put us out there - and because AM’s popularity definitely skyrocketed since SMTM’s and everybody thought Seokmin was both cute and a gentleman in Running man - this was my turn to join a weekly competition. Considering how intense practices we had before comebacks, the thought of learning only one 2-3 min choreo with a professional teaching seemed promising as long as my partner won’t be too stuck up. Because yeah, that was what I was afraid of and their prejudices against idols but as it’s announced that I will be partnered up with Cecily, my doubts are disappearing.
No, I don’t know her, not personally. But I have heard lots of good things about her professional dancing career as well as I might follow her dance studio’s YouTube channel where she doesn’t only doing ballroom dances. She’s really talented, her routine for today left me in awe and during what I saw in today’s introduction shooting, she’s a very genuine person. (And really pretty but that’s a totally different question.) We nod to each other while exchanging small smiles as we’re paired up and then we are waiting to the announcement of the last dancing couples side by side. She has a very unique kind of perfume, very matured and silky, not so bubbly and fruity like most idol girls I’m used to meeting. It’s an interesting change.
After the pairing, the shooting is wrapped up quickly, the staff is a mess around us, everybody is moving, hurrying to leave but there’s one thing I would like to do before I go back to my dressing room.
“Hello, we haven't been formally introduced, Cecily-ssi,” I bow deep in respect towards my future dance partner and only when I straighten my back do I look at her properly. In her heels, she’s about my height - which is a relief for aesthetics purposes - and her long, wavy brown hair is like a curtain of chocolate waterfall and her eyes resemble the shiny dots on the night sky, so for a moment I become unsure which one of us is the star after all. “My name is Sungjin and I'm very much looking forward to be working with you.”

Starting my second year in Korea’s Dancing with the stars brings a lot of joy to my life, I was really looking forward to coming back after my first year in my home country finished; competing in the American show was fun and had its advantages, but I would lie if I said I didn’t miss Seoul. Everyone was welcoming and kind, I had the feeling of meeting my second family back then as they accepted me from day one, and even though I made good friends in Los Angeles, nothing compares to what I have here now.
The cast of this year looks truly interesting as some idols take part in the show too, and although there is no one I think I wouldn’t be able to work with, seeing the contestants, some of them are really a pro dancer’s nightmare. Of course, the whole point is that they are unfamiliar with dancing, it’s funny and challenging this way, but one week preparation is merely enough to make the best out of someone. Judges sometimes tend to forget that our partners are not professionals like us, so they throw harsh words at them easily, which can bring them down, but if they don’t take it too personally, they can also learn from these advices.
Getting partnered up with D3CODE’s leader is surprising and relieving at the same time, the smile I show to the camera is genuine, because I know I hit the jackpot with him and I’m so grateful that I can be the one dancing with him from now on. I saw some of their music videos and live performances where they showed amazing choreographies, which were of course different from ballroom dances, but at least he knows how to move to the rhythm, be precise and always on time; it’s a huge advantage in a competition like this. My last partner was a sweetheart and often made me laugh with his jokes, but poor man should have stuck to acting as he just couldn’t feel the music.
I plan to catch the leader before he can fully disappear, but he beats me to it, earning another genuine smile from me. He acts like a real gentleman which is rare amongst these youngsters these days, it’s refreshing to see a boy behave like this. His bandmates can’t be that different as they seemed really likeable on Running man, which is one of my favourite variety shows, and on Show Me The Money, which I started watching out of sheer boredom.
“Oh yes, nice to meet you Sungjin-ssi! I’m glad that I can be your partner for this show.” I bow too, giving him the respect he gives me, and I truly mean my words. He is not as tall as the others, but still taller than me in my heels, and I don’t know his real age, but he definitely looks more mature than people in his age. “And please, there’s no need to be so formal, just noona will do.” I ask him, because it would be too awkward to call each other formally if we’re that lucky to get into the final rounds. This whole system Korea has is still a stranger to me as I got used to people not caring about age differences in America, but I respect both countries’ view on this. “We’re going to spend a lot of time together, so I think it’s important to feel comfortable around each other.” I was never one to lie or hide what I think and feel, it’s the best to always be honest, but of course, in a nice way that doesn’t hurt others.

I’m still a little bit under her bewitchment when my future dance partners. It feels impossible yet she’s even more beautiful in real life and upclose. I love how the smile that blooms on her face is so genuine that lights up stars in her eyes and her kind approach makes me relieved. Luckily as idols, we don’t receive much setbacks on a show like this unlike AM in SMTM but it makes me extra glad that Cecily is just as satisfied with our pairing as me. It would have been such a shame to get a professional dancer who looks down on me because I represent a different dance style than them. One of the main reasons why I wanted to join this show is actually to get a wider perspective about dance and improving my skills, so I’m really excited that I can work with someone whom I have admired from afar. And on the top of that, she seems very lovely and understanding. Her suggestion surprises me a bit, since usually it doesn’t work that fast but I am not complaining at all. I have heard that she has been living in the United States, so maybe that’s because she’s not that uptight. I guess it will help us built a chemistry that will make the audience like us, so I agree easily.
“You’re right…” I nod and after keeping a breathe-long break, I add softly: “Noona.”
I try it out and the greeting rolls off my tongue so naturally as if I have been doing it all my life. My mouth curls up in a shy smile and suddenly I don’t know what to do with myself. It’s unusual because usually I’m the one who’s composed, being a leader of a kpop group I need to be there in the moment every time or I will be held accountable for creating a mess. But it’s just so easy to lose the track of the train of my thoughts when Cecily noona looks me in the eye.
Someone bumps into my shoulder a bit as staff passes us by and I blink rapidly when I suddenly remember what else I needed to discuss with my partner.
“Actually I wanted to ask you about our first practice. Since it’s not comeback season for us, I’m not particularly busy, so I’m pretty sure I can arrange my schedule to fit yours,” I tell her and fish out my phone from my back pocket. “Should we change phone numbers for easier communication? Of course only if you comfortable with that.”
I have heard of pair who keep in touch through their managers but to be honest, it would be easier and more comfortable if we could talk directly, wouldn’t it? So I look up at the woman with hope in my eyes but I would never want to pressure her into something she doesn’t want. I’m not yet sure where professional boundaries are. Seokmin exchanged KKT IDs with Boyoung-ah during their MC-ing time, that’s for sure, but they are youngsters as they said in Running man, aren’t they? But where do we stand? (How far can I hope we would stand by the end of this show?)

I haven’t realized what I’m truly asking when I asked him to call me noona. I just badly wanted him to stop calling me Cecily-ssi, maybe Hayoon-ssi would have been more bearable, but I couldn’t expect him to know my real name as well. Thus I did the first thing that came to my mind, because I’m too used to the loose habits of America.
But I let it affect me more than I should, hearing noona slip off his tongue like a sweet nickname only made for me, it’s making my heart work faster than it’s normal. He is not the first one to call me noona, but it sounds different coming from his mouth, and I have yet to find out the reason for that. If we’re lucky, I have ten long weeks to do that.
He surprises me once again, inquiring the time of our first practice, and it’s too soon to feel proud, however, it has never happened to me before as I had to be the one to hunt down my partners to agree on our timetable, so the pleasant feelings come naturally.
“It is definitely going to be on Monday, but I don’t know the exact time yet. I have to talk with the other professional dancers, because we have to reserve the studio for each pair as we don’t have enough rooms for everybody at once.” I explain, and glance at the phone in his hands. Mine is not here since I have to wear my professional dancing skirt, but I look around the room, trying to catch a familiar staff member who I know always carries pens with her. “Wait a minute,” I ask for his patience once I catch sight of the said staff member, I quickly run over to her and get back to Sungjin-ah with a marker in my hand, ready to write down his phone number on the back of my hand. “Give me your number and I text you the details. I assume your management already knows the location, but I’ll send you that too just to be sure.” I could offer him to exchange KKT IDs too, but I don’t know where his boundaries are, and that app feels more personal than simple text messages. Time will decide whether we become that close or not anyway. “If you have any wishes, let’s hear them now. My favourite time to start is around 10 am, not too early and not too late, in my experience, this works the best. My schedule isn’t strict, my main focus is on the show from now on. It would be good if we could meet 5 times a week, but at least 3 times is a must,” I know it can be a lot of information for the first time, so I try to simplify it as much as I can, though I think he’s used to living in the busy world of idols, so that catching up shouldn’t be a problem for him. “Any other questions? It’s better to clear everything up even if you think it might be dumb, believe me, it’s not.” I smile at him reassuringly after exchanging our numbers, mine stored in his phone and his shining brightly on my skin. I don’t want him to go home with doubts in his head, he should leave with good memories and not mulling over something he couldn’t ask.
I hope he is as enthusiastic about our partnership as I am, I could literally jump up and down like a lovesick teenage girl in happiness, because this small talk is so refreshing with him even if he’s just being nice out of politeness. It feels different than the necessary formal rounds with others. He has an image to maintain after all, and he wouldn’t be the first one to be excellent in acting like the nice guy. Though it’s only a warning my precautious side gives before I could badly burn myself trusting him too early, I have a good feeling about him, and his demeanor doesn’t seem forced so far, so I feel like winning the lottery today.
His smile is really something else too. Illegal to be that pretty even for an idol boy.

“Okay,” I can merely nod when Cecily noona talks about reserving the studio and then runs off the get a marker. I know it's weird to call someone older cute but she definitely is with her overflowing enthusiasm. There's just something really charming in her gentle smile and sparkling eyes. She's so ready to dot down my number that I don't have the heart to tell her I can easily text her with a 'Hi it's Sungjin’ so that she can save my number in her phone, so instead I fulfill her request and dictate down my number that's now written in shiny black ink on the back of the woman's hand. If you look at it from afar it almost looks like a tattoo and I'm not sure why it fills me up with satisfaction to see something of mine on her soft skin but it does anyway.
I listen closely to what noona is saying about the practices and her professionalism once again proves me that she's a great partner for this show. When she mentions 10am as a starting time, bittersweet memories come up. It's almost laughable that as trainees we were forced to wake up at the crack of dawn and had to dance from early morning till noon because afternoon and evening slots were all reserved by sunbaes at the company. We could either choose this or at night. To actually have a healthy dance schedule seems like a dream and I'm not taken aback by the frequency of the suggested  practices. I'm used to dancing everyday, so it won't be much different.
“I have to discuss the exact schedule with my manager but it sounds good. I'm not sure he'll agree to 5 times a week because I still need to make radio and commercial film shooting appearances beyond my vocal practises but 3-4 times should be fine. Also I feel the need to warn you that something group-related might come up last minute anytime but if anything like that happens I will make sure to let you know as soon as I can,” I tell my partner my concerns about the schedule but I add an encouraging smile, so that she knows I will do everything in my power to not make it happen. I really don't want to sabotage our practices especially since she works already so hard on the choreos. The least I can do is to respect it, however the management won't care about individual dance practices if let's just say they organized a photoshoot for us but it's the same for me. No matter how important this show is, the group is the first. It can be unfair towards the professional dancers who pour their hearts into the show and I will make sure to give my best but D3CODE activities are always priorities for all of us.
“But really, I'm fine with all these and I will make sure to arrive stretched by 10am to save time even with that.” I promise because I'm naturally an early riser – luckily for the two sleepyheads –, so I can go for a run and stretch at home before the actual practice which I'm very much excited for already. I can't wait for Monday to come. “I really don't have any questions now but I'll let you know if something comes up.”
Now that we have exchanged phone numbers it will be easy to communicate like this. Just as I think that my phone buzzes in my hand and looking down I see a message popped up from my manager asking what it takes so long for me. He probably waits in the parking lot already. I smile at Cecily apologetically.
“I have to go but I'll be waiting for the details. And noona… have a nice weekend!” I bow slightly, respectfully with a genuine smile before jogging off. I have a really good feeling about this show already.